Indeed
The bar has risen.
Lots of talking to myself for a while then… Misery on the rise, Sisyphus on the climb…
I’ll tell the story first though, I might have moved on, I might not have yet, fully. over it.
The beginning
Normal, I remember being a firefighter because I didn’t care of the outcome, shared something you didn’t like for some weird reason and then you started flaming, so I stepped in and de-escalated the whole thing. Then I tried Korean food for the first time and life was good.
The middle
On my birthday mind you, rainy day but it didn’t matter. You wanted it, I didn’t plan anything to remind myself of my birth.
In nhà kho till 11, then the park on the almost dry bench. We did hold hands, didn’t we.
And then the feedback: felt like the one, the one’s right hand. Wao, things are going great.
The end
Weekends, didn’t know where to go? What’s in that fancy bag you got? I’ll show you later
I got ambushed by a traffic ant, 500k down the drain. Google Maps sometimes sucks, can be forgiven.
Found a place finally, after trip to the foreigner’s lake.
Almost won at Sudoku.
Strawberries with condensed milk? That’s the cutest shit ever.
And then bam, BAM, BOOOM, SHAKALAKA.
Third person, boom bam, kicked the doors who knows how.
I panicked, wanted to do something so I started talking, I don’t think I trash talked, I just told the truth. But things went KAPUT
“broke a rule"
"never"
"don’t"
"good memories”
I’m not a narcissist, I wish I was one.
Absolute shock. Shock
A bomb has exploded, I’m feeling the shock.
Rode the dream bike like a fucking maniac, thank god that thing has dual disks on the front tire.
Afterthoughts
I tried to fix it later, couldn’t
I tried to at least get some closure, couldn’t
I tried to digest the whole thing together, couldn’t
I begged, couldn’t
Everything explained very well in this piece of art
I looked at a picture until no feelings are left, 2 months?
I think about it, I feel - I lost something
I lose something, I feel regret.
I am the person with the least bad intentions towards other people, I win nothing by publicly stating this and so it is purely - the truth.
But somehow she is telling the story of theoneyoumissed?
To be misunderstood again and again, over and over is tiring and disappointing. Very much so.
And this is why this exists.
And now I continue marching, limping a bit, scared, tired and sad.
I just want peace.
peace is comfort.
comfort NOT just to have it and take it for granted
but to have a reason to do things.
The fuel for the truck that carries the necessities of life.
Strawberries with condensed milk is the worst trigger ever.
2.10.2024
I had time to reflect and it seems like she did really like me.
I’m not overthinking, I’m not overanalyzing I was just doing my daily work and it just came to my mind.
She stayed late to talk to me, even though the next day we both had to work.
Even after I came late from a meeting with a friend, she was asleep when I texted, but as soon as she woke up she replied and we talked on the phone again, it was late already, damn.
Trusted me enough to stay in a park, late at night with me.
Even her friend said: hey don’t stay late at night with strangers in a park…
She wanted to meet the second time on my birthday.
She gave me the title: The best guy she could have ever met on Bumble. Print that shit on a T-shirt and wear in proudly.
and so: “Let’s celebrate that B won’t be in our life” and “I didn’t like him” or “he has problems” - Facade talk.
Haha,
have a good life.